Arkham, Massachusetts – In an unexpected turn of events, a post-doctoral researcher from Miskatonic University’s Cultural Anthropology program inadvertently opened a portal to hell during a vacation on the Hawaiian island of Maui last Tuesday. The incident, which was captured as part of a TikTok challenge, has drawn significant attention and concern from both the academic community and the general public.
Miskatonic University, renowned for its extensive research in arcane and occult studies, has been quick to distance itself from the actions of the individual. Dr. Lysandra Vale, head of the Department of Sociopolitical Alchemy, addressed the incident in a press conference earlier today.
“It is deeply regrettable that one of our own engaged in arcane rituals without the necessary supervision,” Dr. Vale stated. “We at Miskatonic University have always emphasized the importance of proper guidance when delving into the esoteric. Such rituals, while a significant part of our academic exploration, can have unforeseen consequences when not conducted within the appropriate parameters.”
Experts on the Scene in Maui
In response to the incident, a team of occult experts from Miskatonic University was dispatched from Arkham, Massachusetts to Maui. They successfully managed to close the gate, ensuring the safety of both the island’s inhabitants and the broader world.
Dr. Vale further assured the public, “The post-doc in question, whose identity we are withholding for his protection, deeply regrets his actions. He wishes to extend his sincerest apologies to the people of Maui and the academic community. He has committed to refraining from any further unsupervised ceremonies and understands the gravity of his actions.”
The university has always been at the forefront of research in various fields, including the occult. However, it stresses the importance of responsible practices and the safety of both its researchers and the public. All students and researchers are reminded of the university’s guidelines and the importance of adhering to them.
Miskatonic University will continue to monitor the situation and provide any necessary support to the local community in Maui.
